They just found their lightbulbs. THANK GOD.
For real, I can hear everything they are saying.
Which also means if they are down there and we are talking,
they can here everything WE are saying. And probably
that is the reason that sometimes it smells like cigarettes in our
apartment.
I love our apartment, but its old and hearing the neighbors and
the neighbors hearing us sucks
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
instagram: my newest obsession
So I have an iPhone. And I love apps! In my downloading craze I found Instagram. At first I wasn't too thrilled with having to post my images to this other social media site, but soon I was hooked. The community I have found on there are supportive and creative and soon I was making art from my photos. Here are some of them. 
Now, let's nerd out even more! If you have an iPhone you should get on instagram. And if you have an instagram, let's connect (I'm Ericaann9)!
Monday, January 9, 2012
I QUIT!!
Facebook that is.
Facebook was like cigarettes for me. I know they're bad, but damn it! It just feels soooo good! Except when it didn't. So I suspended my account.
I think my dislike for Facebook came around their first big overhaul of its image. And the birth of my daughter. I suddenly wasn't in all the pictures from the weekend before. And now I am feeling weirdly jealous about not going to the club that I didn't even want to go to in the first place. And article after article comes out about how Facebook is selling all your information. I have to change my privacy settings daily. Not to mention the fact that when I post a picture of Alice up, now I am sending it to 400 or so of my "closest" friends.
All of this makes me decide to go and delete everyone who doesn't mean anything to me. But then the politics of it come into play. I might not go out every weekend anymore but that doesn't mean I am never going to go out again. Does seeing these people out on a random Friday night constitute them being my "friends?" I can't bring myself to delete more then a hundred people.
I am convinced that Facebooks new goal is to make it as confusing as possible and bombard you with as much useless information about other people's day as possible. I realize I have spent so much time just looking at the same 10 posts. Or hoping that someone will comment on my post. I don't feel like I am anymore connected to the people I want to be connected to. Some of the people I am friends with, I love to hate. I watch them post bullshit all day long and I HATE them for it. I am purposely making myself mad. This leads me to ask the question, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I realized that Facebook is a story. Its not real life in any way. I can only post smiling happy pictures of Alice and no one realizes that she can be a real brat. Just like the images of everyone smiling from their weekend photos. It doesn't even mean that they had a good time. They just smiled for the photo.
Facebook was like cigarettes for me. I know they're bad, but damn it! It just feels soooo good! Except when it didn't. So I suspended my account.
I think my dislike for Facebook came around their first big overhaul of its image. And the birth of my daughter. I suddenly wasn't in all the pictures from the weekend before. And now I am feeling weirdly jealous about not going to the club that I didn't even want to go to in the first place. And article after article comes out about how Facebook is selling all your information. I have to change my privacy settings daily. Not to mention the fact that when I post a picture of Alice up, now I am sending it to 400 or so of my "closest" friends.
All of this makes me decide to go and delete everyone who doesn't mean anything to me. But then the politics of it come into play. I might not go out every weekend anymore but that doesn't mean I am never going to go out again. Does seeing these people out on a random Friday night constitute them being my "friends?" I can't bring myself to delete more then a hundred people.
I am convinced that Facebooks new goal is to make it as confusing as possible and bombard you with as much useless information about other people's day as possible. I realize I have spent so much time just looking at the same 10 posts. Or hoping that someone will comment on my post. I don't feel like I am anymore connected to the people I want to be connected to. Some of the people I am friends with, I love to hate. I watch them post bullshit all day long and I HATE them for it. I am purposely making myself mad. This leads me to ask the question, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I realized that Facebook is a story. Its not real life in any way. I can only post smiling happy pictures of Alice and no one realizes that she can be a real brat. Just like the images of everyone smiling from their weekend photos. It doesn't even mean that they had a good time. They just smiled for the photo.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
PLAYGROUP and other mom things
As I was peeing the other day with 2 pairs of tiny eyes on me, I realized I rarely get to go to the bathroom alone anymore. Sigh.
Alice and I are going to a play group today. I feel like its my first day of school, only I am MORE nervous now then I was before. What if the mom's hate me, or worse hate Alice? What if she's a monster and I run around the entire time, apologizing for her rude behaviour??
Alice is 13 months now, and all she does is make "MMMMM!" sounds and point at things she doesn't know the name of. I spend my entire day saying things like, "That's a _______" and then saying "You can't touch it, no sorry." and watching her cry.
What is it about me saying "NO!" that makes Alice want to do it more?
Oh toddlers.
Alice and I are going to a play group today. I feel like its my first day of school, only I am MORE nervous now then I was before. What if the mom's hate me, or worse hate Alice? What if she's a monster and I run around the entire time, apologizing for her rude behaviour??
Alice is 13 months now, and all she does is make "MMMMM!" sounds and point at things she doesn't know the name of. I spend my entire day saying things like, "That's a _______" and then saying "You can't touch it, no sorry." and watching her cry.
What is it about me saying "NO!" that makes Alice want to do it more?
Oh toddlers.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Weening the babe
Ok, so weening. Ew, right? No one wants to hear about your boob problems. At least this is how I feel. Alice is 10 months now and I am ready to stop breastfeeding. We have a small cache of formula that we have been introducing into her cereal and we have started giving her whole milk (despite the doctors insisting she can't have it until she is a year old)
Despite the fact that Alice has been eating solids since she was 5 months old, she still has only slept through the night a handful of times. I am exhausted. I haven't gotten a full uninterrupted nights sleep in over a year. OVER A YEAR, people!
After many discussions with Phil, I have been weening Alice for the past 3 months. We are down to one feeding and I can't tell you how insane I feel right now. I am at the point where I hate breastfeeding, in its practice. Its draining and limiting and frankly, I have given this beautiful child my body for a year and a half and I want my body back.
So back to weening. I feel like the information out there on weening is the worst of all the baby information. I am a good googler, I have found a lot of information out there on how to up your supply, how to get rid of mastisis, how to get over all of the hurdles early breastfeeding has and I survived it ALL. My mom telling me to quit, getting a 102 fever on my birthday and ending up in the hospital, the sensitive nipples, the pumping, the refusal of my breast, then the refusal of any bottle ever made, EVER.
But-when I went to find out information on weening, this is where we are sadly lacking. Many lactation websites simply tell you, don't stop. Just keep on going. I'm sorry, I don't see anything wrong with breastfeeding past a year. But its simply not for me. She will no longer need it, she doesn't need it now, its simply a comfort and a time for us to bond. I truly feel that Alice and I have bonded. Its great. But tell me how to move on! Someone explain to me why I have had cramps on and off for months, why I get these great waves of depression coming over me for seemingly no reason. I can't say I haven't found any information at all, like the fact that you body produces oxytocin and prolactin and when you stop breastfeeding you stop making as much of these hormones, hormones that make you feel relaxed, happy, and connected to your baby. No wonder I am depressed!
But as far as what I can do to help my body regulate, I have found nothing.
I have also found no support for helping mothers ween. While there is a plethora of formula feeding support (we understand! You had to work, you had cracked nipples, you couldn't pump) and the same for breastfeeding support (you can do it! Just get over the first few weeks, it gets easier, it gets better) I can't find someone to say to me, Its ok you are stopping, you will feel better, you aren't doing anything wrong by quitting after a year.
It makes me hate the La Leche ladies, and the Kelly moms. Come on. Help a sister out.
Despite the fact that Alice has been eating solids since she was 5 months old, she still has only slept through the night a handful of times. I am exhausted. I haven't gotten a full uninterrupted nights sleep in over a year. OVER A YEAR, people!
After many discussions with Phil, I have been weening Alice for the past 3 months. We are down to one feeding and I can't tell you how insane I feel right now. I am at the point where I hate breastfeeding, in its practice. Its draining and limiting and frankly, I have given this beautiful child my body for a year and a half and I want my body back.
So back to weening. I feel like the information out there on weening is the worst of all the baby information. I am a good googler, I have found a lot of information out there on how to up your supply, how to get rid of mastisis, how to get over all of the hurdles early breastfeeding has and I survived it ALL. My mom telling me to quit, getting a 102 fever on my birthday and ending up in the hospital, the sensitive nipples, the pumping, the refusal of my breast, then the refusal of any bottle ever made, EVER.
But-when I went to find out information on weening, this is where we are sadly lacking. Many lactation websites simply tell you, don't stop. Just keep on going. I'm sorry, I don't see anything wrong with breastfeeding past a year. But its simply not for me. She will no longer need it, she doesn't need it now, its simply a comfort and a time for us to bond. I truly feel that Alice and I have bonded. Its great. But tell me how to move on! Someone explain to me why I have had cramps on and off for months, why I get these great waves of depression coming over me for seemingly no reason. I can't say I haven't found any information at all, like the fact that you body produces oxytocin and prolactin and when you stop breastfeeding you stop making as much of these hormones, hormones that make you feel relaxed, happy, and connected to your baby. No wonder I am depressed!
But as far as what I can do to help my body regulate, I have found nothing.
I have also found no support for helping mothers ween. While there is a plethora of formula feeding support (we understand! You had to work, you had cracked nipples, you couldn't pump) and the same for breastfeeding support (you can do it! Just get over the first few weeks, it gets easier, it gets better) I can't find someone to say to me, Its ok you are stopping, you will feel better, you aren't doing anything wrong by quitting after a year.
It makes me hate the La Leche ladies, and the Kelly moms. Come on. Help a sister out.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
My life on hold.
Having a baby changes things. This is an understatement, really. I feel like my life has been put on hold. I have had to accept this begrudgingly. Logically, I know that eventually, I won't be breastfeeding, she'll start walking and talking and I won't have to run the gaulmut to figure out why she's crying. Soon she'll enjoy spending the night at grandmas and I will get a night off to relax. But right now MY life has severly changed. 2 years ago I didn't start my night until midnight and now I am asleep by 11pm. I don't feel like I can relate to my party friends but I am not ready to be part of the stroller brigade. I want something else to talk about besides my babies pooping habits! I go on Facebook and see all of my friends weekend pictures them smiling in bikinis, their stomachs free of a slowly vanishing dark line and soft skin that my stomach has.
Like many times in the past, someday and soon I am sure my life will even out. I am sure I will never be satisfied being in bed by 9pm on a Friday night but I think the days of partying for 36 hours are over. And I know, that just before we found out I was pregnant, Phil and I spent many hours discussing how tired ofthe scene we were and how we wanted something more for our lives. We certainly got it. I would never trade Alice for a night at the club free of thinking about how she's doing and if she's crying. But I do look forward to a time where my body is my own.
Like many times in the past, someday and soon I am sure my life will even out. I am sure I will never be satisfied being in bed by 9pm on a Friday night but I think the days of partying for 36 hours are over. And I know, that just before we found out I was pregnant, Phil and I spent many hours discussing how tired ofthe scene we were and how we wanted something more for our lives. We certainly got it. I would never trade Alice for a night at the club free of thinking about how she's doing and if she's crying. But I do look forward to a time where my body is my own.
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